Journal Prompts: Independent or Codependent? You Decide

June 2, 2018

Below are three journal prompts with multiple questions each. You can journal on your phone, your computer, or with pen and paper, whatever feels right to you. Feel free to answer all three prompts, although I recommend you split them up as one set per day, and feel free to answer all the questions within each prompt, or not. Do what serves you. You could answer one question and get the answer you were wanting or you could answer all of the questions and you could be left searching. Regardless of your experience, the action of acknowledging and writing down your thoughts is what's important. Be candid. Write for you, not for an audience.


1 - What was your most recent argument about and why? How often do you have these arguments? What was the end result? During the argument, did you feel heard? Did you feel like your ideas, solutions, or even point of view(s) were shut down or squashed? How often do you feel you're being heard? How would you have preferred that conversation go? Did you agree to disagree or did you disagree until you agreed? If you disagreed until you agreed, who was the ultimate "winner"? Who "wins" most of the time? If you feel you may be codependent, do you feel like the "fixer" or the "controller"?

2 - What is your primary reason for being in this relationship? What do you get? What do you give? How is it promoting your success? How is it diminishing your individuality? How often do you do things alone or with your personal social circle, or are they there every time? Does your partner ever guilt you out of or forbid you to be with your social circle? Do you ever do that to your partner? What would you prefer the relationship feel like for you? Do you feel like your fixing or apologizing for your partner's behaviors? Do you feel like you rely on your partner too much or your partner relies on you too much (do you feel like the parent figure)?

3 - Where do you see yourself in 5 years? In these 5 years, have you fulfilled your personal goals? What are your personal goals and why are you or why are you not pursuing them? What is holding you back and what do you find supportive? How are you supporting yourself? Could you see yourself becoming this "future you" with your current partner, why or why not?

If done everyday or at least on a regular basis, I promise you will know yourself better, develop your emotional intelligence, and begin to understand the motivating factors behind such "symptom emotions" as anger, passive aggressiveness, and "the silent treatment". I wish you luck on your journey, please reach out to share any success stories or if you have questions.