Who do you look up to?
Who are your role models?
If you're trying to name a famous person, you would be wrong. Your role model and who influences you most are your closest friends or the people you interact with most. Consider this as these people could subconsciously be determining your life choices, goals, and actions.
So, who is influencing you and how would you describe them?
Do these adjectives describe how you would like to describe yourself?
If not, you may want to find other avenues that will help you develop friendships that move you toward your intended goals or attributes. No need to ditch the old friends unless they truly are toxic.
"You’re not the average of the FIVE people you surround yourself with. It’s way bigger than that. You’re the average of all the people who surround you. So take a look around and make sure you’re in the right surroundings." - David Burkus
Last year, I found another avenue to develop deeper friendships but it wasn't through meetups or networking engagements, it was through my actions. When I shifted my focus, I shifted my actions accordingly. I noticed my friends shift with me. They either shifted away or grew closer, depending on how my goals resonated with theirs.
When I decided to become sober a year ago today I didn't have the lifelong goal I have now or even a year long goal. I wanted to make it a day, then a month, then 3 months, then 6 months, then a year. When I made this decision some people were confused and some people were supportive.
I chose to stick with the supportive people.
These supportive people became my new circle of influence... it was a very small circle. Every single friend from my pre-sober life except one stopped associating with me because I didn't want to partake in their (and my once) favorite thing. So we shifted and eventually drifted. Now, there's a mile wide chasm between us.
But the space between me and my super small circle... well, there is none. They became my confidants, my accountability partners, and advisers. Due to this, I have grown and so have they. I'm convinced this growth would not have happened if I had stayed who I was and allowed my circle to influence me in any other way.
Allow me to share with you the accomplishments that have risen out of this shift:
I started a business (Ready. Balance.) where I coach people into balance with their life, tutor them in their energy, and;
I became a Reiki practitioner;
I returned to school, which I'm finishing this year;
I reset my boundaries in all areas of life;
I rediscovered my self worth & my voice;
I healed from trauma
This circle of influence fostered this growth by not only growing with me but by being excited about my highs and calling me out on my lows.
I would encourage you to find a similar group - one with mutual trust, love, boundaries, and accountability. Then watch your goals manifest into reality & your life truly change!