“It’s been so long! How are you?!"
The dreaded question is asked after not seeing someone for years and you’re still stuck in the same routine or worse than when you originally knew them; meanwhile, they’ve finished their degree, bought a home, have a career, and a family.
The feeling of not accomplishing anything, especially when due to major setbacks, can create a shrinking violet syndrome in the best of us. My defense for when that happens? In the moment, I ask more questions about them and what they’re doing! Then later I get crackin’ on a plan!
First, allow me to ease your paranoia: normal people don’t care if you’re not “perfect” - no one is - they just want you to be happy and healthy. If they’re giving you a highlight reel, remember it’s just that - a highlight reel; the average person won’t burden you with their actual problems. So rest assured, they’re not as perfect as they seem and you are not as unworthy as you may feel.
Second, let’s work on a plan! If you want a personalized plan and private attention, certainly reach out to me and we can at least connect via videochat for a complimentary one-on-one session, then go from there. However, here is my barebones plan of action for myself and clients:
Let's flesh out those words:
Assess: When you get home from having the wind taken out of your sails, you’re going to assess what you have to do, want to do, can do, and have done. First, think about what you have to do to keep a roof over your head (that could be a shelter, a family member’s house, or your own home), in other words what kind of bills do you have to pay because that should always be your priority. Next, determine what you want to do? What are your passions, what are your interests, what do you like to do, etc.? Third, think about what you can do today or in the near future towards what you aspire to do. Lastly, consider what you have done in the past with regard to your goals, whether or not they’re the same goals. Think about what slipped you up, what stopped you, what kept you going? You should spend a lot of time in this step because the next steps are focused around seeing this step to fruition.
Research: This is pretty self-explanatory. Research what you want to do, what could go wrong, who is doing it already, can you work or volunteer for them, or research what it means to get started.
Decide: More than likely there are several avenues available to fulfill your pursuits. You could prioritize each of them and look at every attempt as an experiment. For example, say your dream is to own a restaurant, but you’ve never worked in one before or you’ve “only” been employed in a service capacity. Perhaps it’s time to develop your skills as a manager, cook, accountant, or marketer. You could also go to school for business or restaurant management. As you gain experience and knowledge, you will be more prepared to actually open your own restaurant.
Create: This part may not be necessary but if you were to sell merchandise then you will need to create items to be sold. You may also need to create a website or business location, etc. Everyone, however, will need to create tasks in order to finish your plan
Assign: Next, you will need to assign dates to each task to ensure you’re on track, you may also need to assign tasks to people if delegating is necessary. Pro tip: be lofty and ambitious with your dates. Personally, if I’m ambitious yet semi-realistic with my dates I find it motivates me and keeps me on track.
Perform: Lastly, you will need to perform any tasks you’ve laid out for yourself. This should be the fun part!
This whole process can take a month or ten years depending on your goals and it is by no means an exhaustive list of how to prepare yourself for your goals, which is exactly why I recommend coaching, but it is a great place to start! If you find yourself thinking you need some help from a sounding board or a guide, please reach out and we can talk about how to accomplish your goals!